My journey as an exclusively-pumping-stayathome-mother

A temporary EP mom i hope.

Minggu before raya tue bfeeding week kan so rasa nak share my own bfeeding story.

Muhriz was weaned off the breast at 31months,and he was fully directfed,budak tak kenal botol =p

With Muhsin,it's a totally different story.Muhsin sendiri saya pertama kali jumpa die on his 3rd day.After the operation,the esophagus needed to rest hence no mouth feeding until the contrast test was done and the doctor gave an OK.So he was fed through IV or gavage feeding with TPN(Total Parenting Nutrition) for 8days after the repair.
Saya mula pump hari ke 3.Di ICU I was too sick to even get up.First thing the nurse tanya bila masuk normal delivery suite was whether I intended to breastfeed my baby.Of course I said yes though I knew Muhsin tak akan minum susu tue.Every 4 hours saya diingatkan to pump.Susu diorang hantarkan ke Milch Kuche(Milk Kitchen) untuk disimpan.Saya ditahan di ward sampai hari ke 8.Tiap kali ke bilik pump saya perlu bawa selain urine bag,2 lagi drainage bags utk drain darah dari uterus.Besides the c sect cut,the dr buat 2 more holes next to it to drain the excessive blood dari placenta accreta.Di leher ada 3 wires utk ubat dan blood transfussion.The dr called it central line,nurse ckp itu my necklace.Sakit memang.Sebab byk sgt accessory nie dan saya seorang2 di ward,hubby dtg dgn Muhriz around noon to 7pm je,kadang2 nurse yg tolong pasangkan pump,hantarkan pump ke bilik.Tapi most of the times saya jalan sendiri ke pumping room,kene jeling dgn visitor2 sebab byk pakai wire tu biasalah.Susah sikit lah tapi I had decided so I must do it.First few sessions mmg dpt sikit je around 10ml,itu normal.I learned that dgn Muhriz dulu.Sebab it was impossible to direct feed,pumping helped me to establish the milk.Alhamdulillah Allah mada it easy,no sore nipples,engorgement pon tolerable lah lagi.

Started day 8,Muhsin mula diberi breastmilk through tube+TPN(IV).He was on tube feeding sampai day 28.Bila saya sudah boleh pulang ke rumah,rutin saya,setiap pagi sampai ke hospital akan hantar susu dahulu.From day to day dr akan cuba kurangkan TPN dan increased breatmilk intake.Day 15,doctor ckp boleh stop TPN sebab Muhsin accepted my milk very well and blood test pon showed cukup nutrition.So I was beyond happy.Tapi kemudian timbul pula problem dgn vessel leakage.To stop the leakage,vessel tersebut perlu "rehat".In other words,Muhsin tidak boleh diberi any fat melalui mulut.Fat perlu terus ke dlm salur darah tanpa melalui vessel tadi.Jadi no breastmilk.Hanya boleh diberi Basic F yg hanya ada karbo.Sedih saya.Tapi saya redha sebab itu yg paling baik untuk dia sembuh.
Saya masih juga pump.Mesti pump so tak kacau production.Muhsin was on Basic F for 10 days.Hari ke 25 bila tiada lagi fluid keluar dari drainage,baru dr benarkan breastmilk semula.Day 29,sehari sebelum die dipindahkan ke surgical unit,they fed him with bottle for the first time.Alhamdulillah,he took his first bottle very well,tak ada problem.Saya pon try juga direct feed die but failed.I tried every time I went to visit him.Kadang die nak tapi most of the times die reject.
But I didnot give up.Giving up what's best for your baby is a waste.Sampai sekarang saya masih an exclusively pumping mama.Muhsin still rejects my breast tapi kami mmg plan tanak kasi die too attached with breast.Nanti kene admitted for next operation susah pula kan.So i pump every 3 hours.Selalunya dpt around 5oz.Malam pump once before tido dlm kul 10 lepas tue bgn dlm pukul 2.yg ni dpt byk sikit maybe before tido bantai minum air banyak2,susu banyak,badan pon rehat.So dpt lah around 8oz,paling byk dpt 10oz.Tgh mlm ni pump lama sikit sebab tak busy huhu.Siang before hubby comes back from office,bersilat jugak la nak handle both kiddo dan pump lagi.Tapi so far I manage it.Kadang tgh pump adik nangis,abg nak wee wee lah huhu.Morning session yg paling sibuk,nak pump,nak dukung baby,nak prepare bfast/bekal babah.Banyakk kali kene pump sambil dukung adik.Saya tak pernah miss pump so far,terlambat dlm half an hour biasa buat.Some said ada freestyle tak jamin susu byk.For me itu betul lah tapi ada freestyle adalah sgt handy,buat semuanya senang.Sambil pump sambil masak sambil pakaikan baju si sulong or bagi susu kat adik.Kalau kene pakai manual mau stress saya hihi.And I am lucky my hubby supports bfeeding as much as I do.Balik kerja tolong jaga anak while saya pump.Malam2 saya bgn pump die bgn bagi EBM kat Muhsin hehe

 We are facing another challenge.Muhsin,though he drinks a lot 100mlx8-7times a day,he doesnot gain much.And the surgeon ckp he needs to be 5-6kg for the next operation.Patut operate end of this month tapi dipostpone sebab Muhsin baru 4kg.He didnot gain weight during the 38days hospital stay.Balik rumah baru naik berat.And we have a time constraint here,tak boleh afford to postpone operation beyond Oct.Syukur both his paed and surgeon are pro breastfeeding,so diorang ckp to continue bfeeding but they also prescribe an energy enhancer to be added to the EBM.The enhancer should help him to gain weight faster as it has added calory.Sebabnya the only way to add more calory in breastmilk is to express frequently dan saya tak pernah miss pump so there's nothing else I can do.So in his EBMe sekarang kene tambah Duocol,sikit je tapi dr ckp hujung2 pisau je sukatan dia.Dan saya juga buat macam ni,for each feeding,saya akan ambil 2 bottles EBM from fridge,EBM kan bila sejuk boleh clearly see fore/hind milk,part pekat/hind yg contains all the fat selalunya kat atas.So saya akan amik part yg pekat dari bottle first campur to 2nd bottle,letak dlm warmer and add a bit of Duocol.

These are my EBM.Told ya tak byk pon at one time ada 12bottles je.Dari muhriz saya sudah tahu saya ni bukanlah jenis kilang susu yg meriah tapi I believe in demand n supply concept;susu ibu mmg cukup utk anak.Saya tak simpan frozen EBM sebab kat rumah ni ada satu je fridge and I donot like the idea of storing EBM satu freezer dgn lauk2 mentah.So I just keep the EBM in the chiller,yg lebih dari 4 days akan dibuang.So far semuanya cukup for Muhsin.formula milk mmg tak ada pon kat rumah ni,insyaAllah akan cukup milk mama ni untuk kamu ok adik.Some people tak suka the idea of sharing gambar stock EBM,especially kalau yg stock banyak sampai penuh peti.Some ckp diorang riak susu meriah.For me,they are not.They deserve to be proud of the EBM they have collected sebab apa,they work for it.Bukan senang2 nak dpt penuh peti.Just ada niat tapi tak usaha tak akan dpt.Bukannya sehari nak penuhkan peti tue.Saya walaupon tak byk EBM dlm peti tapi everytime nak letak new ones saya akan kira berapa botol semuanya.psycho tak?hahaha

Saya selalu ingatkan diri each bfeeding journey is different and this time I have to fight extra hard for it.A successful bfeeding journey doesnot depends on how much you make but it's how much you want  and work for it.Sebab itu org kata bfeeding is 90% determination and only 10% milk supply.

Ok penat dah type,I hope this arrangement(being an EP mom) is just temporary,tak sabar nak directfeed budak Muhsin ni.Tapi selagi saya boleh usaha,saya akan usahakan breastmilk for him.It might not be the best for every mom,but it's undeniably the best for your baby.