Yesterday was one of my so called "bad" days.Muhriz usually naps 2 times a day,tapi semlm,die skipped the 2nd nap and forced himself to stay awake for more than 7 hrs! At 10pm he was still with us in the living room but i know he was tired.He would simply cry if we didnot allow him something and became fuss over every single thing. Nak jadi mak singa dah mama nie as I had use up all energy to coax him for the last few hours!
11pm and that's it!Jom tido.Brought Muhriz to bed,nursed him but still he refused to sleepand cried instead!I got really fed up as i was really tired.Checked his CD,kering lagi but i decided to change anyway.Bukak CD je,wee wee atas mama.Habis mattress dgn mama sekali.Hubby bawak muhriz to the toilet to wash up,mama pon pegi sekali.Sekali die nak masuk dlm bath tub main air pulak siap nak splish splash kat mama. That made me even angrier! :(
So i lost my cool and said something i wish i hadnot!Mmg menyesal sgt2 to have said that,gosh Muhriz is only 14 months :( But before you could think of something yg amat teruk,it was actually something like "mama pukul nanti!!" Tapi version lagi garang!
But of course lah a 14 mths old couldnot understand it,he just looked at me,puzzled and kept playing with the water.I decided to cool down,let hubby handled him.But few mins later,i heard him crying,hubby kate terhantuk kepala sikit,sikit jer tapi org dah mengantok kan,menangis satu kampung dengar.He asked for me,tak nak dgn hubby.So i picked him up,dressed and nursed him to sleep.
It was easy to break down in tears watching how innocent my baby looked while asleep and thinking how upsetting my behavior was just then. I know hubby was upset with me for saying that too.Sorry baby,mama didnot mean to scold you.I regret it how i got angry over you.I pray to Allah for His guidance to go through this motherhood,to be more patient,more understanding and more loving.
I made a promise;If i were to lose my temper next time,i should be mad at myself not the baby.I need to remind myself that my baby boy still doesnot really know.I can't expect him to understand that i want him to go to bed because i am tired or have other things to do.If he is tired,he would be going to sleep.If he is hungry,he would be asking for nenen.I just can't force him.
Forgive me,baby.I really do not wish to be angry at you.
2 comments:
pn ami; just imagine how is ur life going to be when u have more than one kid..it will be more challenging dear..
salam perkenalan..just came across ur blog while blogwalking..
thanks for dtopping by potpetmama:)
hehe you must be full of experience with your four kids!Saya seorang baru sudah pening lalat kak,hekhek
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